Go out to your garden and pluck from your borders all that bindweed you have been ignoring all summer. Make sure you get the longest lengths you can get. Now, crochet, knit or weave these into a pair of bindweed pants.
Put on your bindweed knickers. Cast a circle and invite the elements in to the party. Take a yellow candle to symbolise fat and light it chanting 'candle candle burning bright, send my wobbly bits into the night' and then repeat the words 'Bindweed shrink me, candle melt me, water drink me, smoke disguise me' over and over again as you turn in ever-decreasing circles until you fall over. Eat the cakes and drink the ale, leaving some for the gods because they have wobbly bits too.
Close your circle and let the candle burn down to nothing.
Wear the bindweed until it falls off.
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